This weekend I was lucky enough to travel to Chicago, Illinois to see Saetia, City Of Caterpillar and Pageninetynine. In addition to seeing three incredible bands, I got to meet people I've been speaking to about music and archiving for over a year. It was genuinely such a surreal experience to meet people who I feel like I know well, but have never met in the flesh. Talking to them about the criminally underrated 90s emo scene felt so refreshing because so few people in my life care about it at all. Shout out to Chelsea (check out her Portland-based radio show Sadderstar.fm!), Elias (check out his incredible podcast Not Just A Phase!), Tenzin (fellow archivist who sometimes writes on this blog as Shasahara), and the lovely Mary! I could go on listing people but you get the idea. I really can't thank you all enough for being in my life and giving me the chance to come to this show and just hang out with you all! You guys are the fucking best! Hope to see you again someday soon.
Moving on to the bands themselves, I can't even describe how much this show meant to me. Leading up to the weekend of course I was excited, but the second Pageninetynine started playing their first song a chill ran through me that was indescribable. When I first got into the "emo" scene, all three of these bands were distinct starting points for me, and while I haven't listened to them lately as much as I used to, hearing the songs I had on repeat played live and with breathtaking passion was an entirely new experience for me. While I may never get to see a lot of my favourite bands from the scene, this was a life-changing memory that I know I will hold on to dearly for the rest of my life. I think before the show I just had no idea a live band could make me feel so deeply, I've been to some good concerts but this blew everything far out of the water. The bands and the scene I care so deeply about and spend so much time writing about, listening to, talking about, and being inspired by were genuinely there in front of me and with all the passion and energy that they had in their prime. Being in their presence amongst the vast crowd of people who care just as much as I do felt like a moment of rare connection among so many different individuals, from all over the world.
I lucked out and got to see Pageninetynine two nights in a row (thank you so much Elias!), the second being the big sold-out show at Metro, but the first being in a smaller much more intimate venue along with Massa Nera. I couldn't pick a favourite of their sets, they both were mindblowing. However, I will say that on the first night at Subterranean, that feeling of shock and elation really hit me. Being right up by the small stage and watching all (9?10?) members of the band play so perfectly in sync with one another was insane. I can barely manage to play in sync in my three-piece band, I could not imagine doing so with so many people. Despite it being a long time since they were initially an active band, they have not lost their energy or power. They sound just like they always have and continue with their weird performative antics. One vocalist climbed the staircase on stage, hanging from the bars while another member drummed on another's shoes all the while still sounding perfectly tight and on time. After watching countless live sets of my favourite bands in the 90s, this honestly lived up to my expectations and more. I've always liked Pageninetynine but they haven't been at the forefront for me, after seeing them live in their pure chaos, I have a love for them that is stronger than ever. I've never felt so lost within the music at any show ever than when they were playing. They play with such precision and perfection and yet display a contagious chaos I've never experienced in person before.
(Videos from the PG.99/Massa Nera show the night before)
City Of Caterpillar has such an interesting sound even within its small scene, the vocalist (who is also in Pageninetynine) has a voice not quite like anyone else I've heard and man can he still use it. The crowd swayed to the melodic, melancholic guitar riffs and went absolutely wild for the heavy bits. After seeing Saetia and Pageninetynine I can't say this is true anymore but leading up to this show City Of Caterpillar was the one I was most excited for as they always resonated with me the most. After seeing the others I have a renewed respect and enjoyment of them, but City Of Caterpillar will always remain a favourite. My favourite track "A Heart Filled Reaction To Dissatisfaction" played live was breathtaking.
Saetia is a band I used to love but hadn't listened to in quite a few years up until the show but wow they fucking ripped! I had a sense of nostalgia as I heard their guitars play the songs I obsessed over in my first introduction to emo. Their abrupt shifts between soft, emotional guitar riffs and sung vocals to heavy parts with shrieks cried over them never ceases to amaze me. As a vocalist myself I always find it impossible to shift seamlessly from screams to clean vocals and yet Saetia pulls it off like it's their second nature. I crowd-surfed for the first time in my life during their set and though it was only a few seconds I will always remember how I felt in that moment. Unfortunately, I got no live footage of Saetia because I was too busy in the pit. Whoops!
On top of Saetia's incredible set, before they played the organization the show was raising money for came out to speak to the crowd. The show's funds went to Chicago Freedom School, an organization that works with black and brown people to fight against prejudice, racism and poverty. As the members spoke about their cause, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy that I could even play a small part in raising money for their cause. The 90s emo scene has always been about more than the music to me and to everyone involved I think. It's about inclusivity, safe spaces, a celebration of differences and minorities, gender equality and celebration. Unfortunately, this message has become harder and harder to come by in the hardcore scene and seems completely absent in my hometown Calgary, Alberta. Hardcore has become a competition for who's the toughest, who's the coolest and if you don't blend perfectly into the crowd, racially, gender-wise, style-wise or as any sort of minority really, you won't be accepted. This is one of the most infuriating things to me because to me hardcore is about a safe space for ANYONE who feels they resonate with the music and scene. Hardcore is about fighting for EVERYONE'S rights regardless of differences. Hardcore is about freedom and fighting oppressors. The fact that this show was raising money for such a valuable and meaningly cause gave it an even deeper meaning to me and I'm sure many more.
To quote Pageninetynine in one of my favourite songs: "Hardcore should mean freedom, liking and accepting anything that you like, playing whatever you want, as sloppy as you want, as long as it's good and it has passion."
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